alone in the dreary grey wet

I oughta go for a walk out in the Vancouver drizzle,but I'll probably be lazy and roll a number and watch TV.I'm staying with my parents here for the month, watching the snow report in my neck of the woods with horror, as I am missing the season opening ... (52" of powder so far!)Maybe I'm a whiney baby, maybe I'm bitching because I can.I've got it good, but I'm still being crushed by dispair.All the angst and dissatisfaction amounts to nothing,because it's all my fault for not feeling better. It's time to get off my ass and do something!If nothing else, I can write and draw to get my inner dialogue out into the world. Some manageable projects will manifest themselves.But strangely, I'm still starving, though I now have access to food. Perhaps I have an eating disorder: the one where I'm too disordered to get my shit together and cook! Argh. Self-love ain't easy. I'll stop complaining though, and try to get into the holiday spirit... but I need peers, and ppl my own age to talk to here!I'm loosing my mind watching Muchmusic all day and listening to angst-poppy alt.rock radio. Maybe I should be reading and meditating, but I'm bored! Better than real life though I suppose, if I were at home, I'd just be getting high with my roommate and starving, because I spend all my money on smokes. Maybe I'll write a long post soon and explain my recent life to those of you who don't know where I'm coming from...Fuck it, I'm getting out of here. Maybe I'll just take the family dog for a walk.Email me and tell me you still love me, anyone.