martedì 14 agosto 2007
I believ...
I believe.rghat...AAAAAAAAAAGHhhhhhsggggsok/ I'm having myhundred and nineteenth nervous breakdown.I've realised that the next step for meis to take my spirituality less half-assedly.I got in a bar debate with an Illuminatus tonite,a total stranger, why not debate all political andeconomic theories of the times. ... He had approxomitely 100 times the amount of money I have, was an avowed capitalist, and we both agreed and disagreed on seperate points.I've been going mad, fuck him. My points were thus:- the old and experienced have been running things for millenia, it's time for the youthful and idealistic to have a chance. We need not learn from their mistakes, just not repeat them. - once computers run everything, 12-15 year olds who know how to use (and manipulate) computers will run the show.- capitalism's only moral ethic is the bottom line.- profit has no motive to make things better for anyone.- George Bush is simply evil.he stated that I was young and naive and didn't know the first thing about what was going on ... in his defence he had some russian ethnicity in his background, so there may have been some backlash against the totalitarian version of communism.I am just angy at the fascist and megalomaniac version of totalitarianist dictatorship capitalism in which we currently live.Neither of us was right or wrong.It was just a semi-intellegent debate.I could say more. I'd rather smoke ...
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Hey man, the world is a fucked up place.the old and experienced have been running things for millenia, it's time for the youthful and idealistic to have a chance. We need not learn from their mistakes, just not repeat them.History is full of this young idealists screaming at the ones with power.Here's the catch: Those idealists rise up, sieze or fill in the rolls of the old. They when they are the old system, new young idealists come along and attack all that had come before.From the long unblinking eye of time, we learn that this is the way it has always been, and will always be.So tear some shit up, cause someday someone is going to come along and tear all your hard work up cause they dont understand all the effort you put into just making it work."I am just angy at the fascist and megalomaniac version of totalitarianist dictatorship capitalism in which we currently live"You an me both. More bad news: it is working and successful because it has grown and evolved to fill the niche. I hate it, but at the same time by looking at it I have to realize that its the most efficient system of our uncivilized kind.Im sure you wouldnt like to live in some places in africa or the middle east where people do it the way it used to be: negotiation through slaughter.Life is not fair. In fact, I have removed "fair" from my vocabulary in terms of desire.The system is in place because deep down we all want to grab enough for us and ours so we dont feel fear about if there is enough to eat, or someplace to sleep.We have gotten to soft in this system. We seem to think that because we as individuals can concieve of something and believe in it, that we will make it happen. Science streches its arms out to encompass the realm of life, attempting to believe someday they will push back death. .... DEATH!The natural order is:1) Settle need to eat, breathe, feel safe, have someplace to sleep2) Belong to a group, have an identity, understand what is needed of us3) think about other people, understand themUntil we can settle all of line 1 without taking it from the other half of the world, we are no better than anyone else. And until everyone performs line 3, there will be no answer to line 1.Dar.
I guess I was saying I want young idealists in power while they're still young and idealistic of course the young idealists always grow into the power of their elders, but not until we see things their way, and by that time we're old and bitter and corrupted by our power.There is always a carrot to hold in front of the idealistic ass.Compromise happens as we grow up, ideals fade with reality.And change in the system comes slowly... but is always ocurring.What I said about not repeating their mistakes kind of came out wrong, we should learn from history... what we can learn is that we cannot continue along this present course. The reason idealists rise up to siese power from the fascists every few generations is because if they don't we're all doomed. The difference now is that we have the power to destroy our own planet, and some with access to those weapons of mass destruction seem stupid, arrogant and misguidedly greedy enough to use them. (in fact, the us is the only country to have ever detonated a nuclear weapon on a civillian population - if there were any sanity in the world, we'd take all their bombs away) Yeah, nothing's fair... and the world is fucked. I know I'm entirely privilaged, and that has tainted my perception.I've grown up expecting food and shelter to always be provided me.No, I would not tolerate the conditions in the 3rd world myself,because I think that this quality of life should be universal.(and improved) We have the technology now to eradicate manual labour, we just can't go ahead and do that because our economy would collapse - it's built around (wage-)slave labour.It takes a fuck of a long time to turn around a boat as big as western civilization.Yes, capitalism made all this possible, but it's time for us to evolve again.The have-nots have valid, valuable ideas - which they can't impliment there's the flaw: most of us can't afford to make things better for everyone, and those who can seem to spend all their money on weapons.Power comes out of the barrel of a gun Mao said, if only we could enlighten the masses with sanity and reason.oh well... hell in a handbasket, I'm just along for the ride.It's an interesting drama to watch unfold, I just there were more reasons to be optimistic about the future.
the original post was written after I came home drunk lastnite btw,I get so passionately angry whenever I start ... thinking.But I know I need to just calm down and do what I can, I'm flailing, I need to get my own shit together soI can (help) change the world.
"getting shit together" basically = that natural order stuff.I have place to sleep, but am hungry and lonely.I spend far too much time thinking about other people, and understand them about half the time.As for my place in the world:on a frikking mountaintop, smoking a doobe.{I am so sick of fixing people's computers.}FUCK WORK! live free. I'm lucky I get to hit the ski hill soon.Hopefully that will help with my quality of life and at-peace-ness with the world.
It's strange (or not) that my opinions don't really varry,but my attitude changes my whole perspective when my mood swings.Though I guess I'm accepting again that I need to just grow up and accept some of the facts of reality - even if I dont think thingsshould be the way they are - so I can be realistic about my survival needs. Personal health definately affects everything:Comfort, perspective, and collectively, the health of the planet.Save the earth one person at a time.I'll rant and rave about my insane attitude again later.
Hey buddy, we gotta sit down and talk some day when there is more time and less work (and much Herbal refreshment).There are volumes of things to go over.You write much, as in maybe short stories?
no. but I know I need to.I could write, well, volumes ... about all the points of view I've been through.This current attitude is just due to the stress in me shoulders.I'm sure happy-go-lucky Me will be back soon.(but my insane political views will remain)Yes, let's chat... msn?
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